I knew when I started my business that I wanted my life to be integrated, having little to no separation between personal and professional life.
It’s exhausting having to be “on,” feeling like you can’t be yourself. I never want to be around a client, accidentally swear, and then go, “Oh Shit sorry for swearing… Shit! I did it again!.”
3 reasons it’s easier to live an authentic life:
1. It’s fun being able to be you.
I didn’t feel comfortable being me for a good part of my adolescence, and also in a long-term relationship I was in during my mid-twenties. I felt like I was walking on eggshells and too often something I did would gain criticism, disapproval, or some kind of problem. I hated that feeling, so that’s why as an adult I only hang out with people who are supportive and 100% ok with me being me. If they feel uncomfortable with something I’m doing, they will talk to me about it instead of attacking me. I like that. I choose that.
2. You will attract people who have the same values and naturally want to be around you.
It takes a lot of courage to be real because it means you won’t be liked by everyone. The good news is – those who love you, REALLY love you. If I start dating someone new, I make a conscious effort NOT to do anything that I normally wouldn’t do down the road so they know what they’re signing up for.
Like when Billy Crystal says in When Harry Met Sally, “You take someone to the airport, it’s clearly the beginning of the relationship. That’s why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Because eventually things move on and you don’t take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, How come you never take me to the airport anymore?”
3. People are drawn to authentic people.
People find it endearing when they can tell you’re comfortable sharing yourself no matter what kind of place you’re in. That means showing up not only when you’re in a confident, good place, but also when you’re feeling insecure and low. People would rather hear, “Hey, I feel like crap right now,” than having a smile on your face and telling people everything is perfect all the time. Who can connect to that?
Fantastic post and well said ! I so know what you mean. I also never really fit in when I was a youth and always wondered what was wrong with me then I made the conscious decision one day to just BE ME and whether people liked or hated me that would be ok. We don’t get along with everyone as we are after all just human. I always say to others just be yourself but I think many get stuck into the “I have to please everyone all the time – to be loved, liked, appreciated or even accepted”. I just feel that life is way too short to worry so very much. Be your Best self at all times, respect others, value your time and others and go forth and be true to yourself.